Social media can an inspiring platform for community and friendship, but it can also breed insecurity. With all the different personalities and filters, it’s very easy to lose yourself, and get caught “comparing your behind the scenes to someone else’s show reel”.
If you’ve experienced a negative relationship with social media, and have found that critical voice rising up just to put you down, here are 5 tips to developing positive self-talk:
Affirmations are deceptively powerful. A proper affirmation will target the niggles that seem to repeatedly arise and catch you out when you’re feeling your most vulnerable. Take time to notice those negative thoughts coming up time and time again, and reverse them! The key is to phrase the affirmation in the present tense, so you’re focusing on change in the now, not the future.
For instance, if your Instagram feed makes you think “I’m so boring compared to these people”, flip it over to: “I am the only one who can decide my worth. I am proud of who I am. I am worthy.”
In addition, be conscious of who you’re following. If you’re mostly following people that make you feel bad, consider why you’re following them and possibly set time aside to cull! You want to follow people who reinforce positive ideas that resonate with your personal beliefs.
- Writing is therapy
Did you know, it’s been academically proven that we prioritise the negative over the positive? According to LSE’s Blog, this is “because the potential costs of negative information far outweighs the potential benefits of positive information.” Writing can feel unbelievably cathartic, especially if you’re the type of person who gets caught up rethinking an anxiety over and over.
Reframing your thoughts is one of the best ways to use writing. You can do this by taking two pieces of paper. On one piece, write down every single negative thought you’re having – let it all out, no matter how embarrassing it feels. Then, on the other piece of paper, write a list of compassionate responses to every single niggle on the other piece of paper. An example may be “I feel like no one likes me”, and on the other piece of paper you may write “I have all the friends I want and need. I am loved and appreciated by all of them. Even so, I am cheapdiazepamonline powerful and whole all by myself.”
It’s all about strengthening a nurturing and loving dialogue with yourself. Do this activity until your compassionate voice is ready to strike at any moment!
- That well-known question: “Would I speak to a friend the way I speak to myself?”
Our worst enemy is merely ourselves. But luckily, it’s possible to build bridges with that internal enemy. If we’re going to learn to speak lovingly towards ourselves, we must learn to see ourselves as a valuable person who deserves to be taken care of: we need to be friends with ourselves.
Take a moment to consider how that critical voice may be present in your studies, work and in your relationships. What is that voice telling you? How is making you feel? Ask yourself who you are drawn to – do they support the best version of you? It’s these deeper parts that require the real hard work when developing positive self-talk.
Take time every day to identify those destructive thought processes that are causing negative situations to arise. The journey you’re on right now is about finding the person within you that wants you to truly thrive and soak up the abundance of the world.
- Combine positive self-talk with self-care
On that note, it’s all well and good to change our internal dialogue, but we also need to demonstrate our care for ourselves. Consider all the little things you can do to make you feel good inside. It might be small, like a bath, manicure, or glass of wine. Or, it might be something big, like allowing yourself to have that expensive piece of clothing that you know will make you feel fab.
When you’re going through a dark time it’s very easy to see acts of self-care as overrated, when in fact, they’re precisely what you need to be doing. Reinforce your positive self-talk with actions that turn dialogue into reality.
- Consistency is key. But if it’s harder than expected, reach out
Learning to speak lovingly towards ourselves is hard – it takes time, repetition, and sometimes this is harder than expected. Especially if we’re doing it alone.
It’s important to know that you can look outside yourself for support. You can email (firstname.lastname@example.org) or call the clinic on 0845 603 6530 and we’ll help you find the support you need.