Written by our client, Emily
Baking was very much a part of my childhood. It brings up many fond memories where I would shadow my granny, anticipating the moment I could lick the bowl – a right of passage for all children in my opinion.
Having developed an eating disorder at an early age, my love of baking began to shatter. Fears of absorbing calories from the butter through my fingers and inhaling icing sugar took away any sense of pleasure. I was always in a fixed state of anxiety which made me feel so awful that eventually I stopped.
Recently in my recovery journey I’ve started experimenting again, and it’s been such a wonderful creative outlet for me. I still struggle with the sizes of cakes and biscuits I produce – as they’re rather tiny – but the passion is returning. My next challenge is to bake a birthday cake, which I’m excited about and dreading all at the same time!
It’s strange as baking wasn’t something I’d planned to pick up again…it just sort of happened. Since embarking on my own personal process of self-discovery, I’ve found that I’ve come in touch with elements of myself that I’d buried long ago. It’s such an enlightening moment when they come to surface again, completely unexpected.
It’s that satisfying moment when a piece of a jigsaw puzzle has been put back in place, even if it starts by simply picking up a wooden spoon.