“It Was Chaos With A Purpose…It Was Wild And Free And How It Should Be”

This week is Eating Disorder Awareness Week. Our client reflects on her journey rediscovering her passions and creativity…

As a child, she was too busy pursuing her many passions to be aware of, or care about, feeling-self conscious. She spent hours absorbed in colouring books, late nights spent with siblings building elaborate cubbies, and whipping up vast storms in the kitchen with a rolling pin in hand and trying – but not really following – a ‘ready steady cook’ book recipe. She would conjure up all kinds of sensory explosions and was blissfully ignorant, carefree and confident about her creations (and her ability). It was chaos with a purpose, and it was wild and free and how it should be.

“An eating disorder turns out all the lights.”


When the child grew up, she didn’t notice that the seeds of perfectionism had somewhere been sewn, and that the shoots of self-awareness had begun to sprout into her teenage psyche. She held back. She stopped playing. She hung up her apron and retired from pursuing her passions. The colours faded, the flavours drained and life became dull.

“Through the process of recovery…the lights turn on.”

An eating disorder turns out all the lights. It turns your world inside out and things seem dark and raw (and not in the chocolate brownie way). Through the process of recovery, you reclaim and rediscover your passion for life. You revel in those feelings of joy when you remember what it felt like to be wild and free. The lights turn on. The invisible life force floods your being once more, and you feel like who you were before …

Posted in , by The Recover Clinic