I never thought my mental health would have been tested the way it did. I consider myself a very optimistic person, but during the first lockdown, my life was turned upside down having to cope with a very demanding corporate job, working from home, teaching my yoga classes in parallel, homeschooling 2 kids and caring for my mother in law. My husband was also struggling with the new norm and was trying his best to cope with it and support all of us. I can now realise that! But, at the time it was difficult to see clarity in life.
I couldn’t find time to pause to reflect on what I really wanted. Life was no longer fun. I was on autopilot. I was feeling anxious, angry, snappy, resentful, lost, energy-depleted and powerless. I had to acknowledge the facts, I was no longer an ambitious corporate employee type, it felt as I was killing myself trying to be someone I was no longer, so I realised that I had to make a change. I couldn’t see how things could change though.
Writing a journal helped me to recall how I may have reacted to certain situations; to rewind and reflect if I could have dealt with them differently. It reminded me about things that I found joy in doing but was too busy to do. Moving around more, spending more quality time with my family, going for long walks, spending time outdoors in nature and reducing screen time helped me. All these also helped me to clear my mind and see light in myself.
I noticed I wasn’t watching my thoughts or my reactions. I have found that talking to myself in a positive way with words of encouragement helped me to organise my thoughts and find the energy to choose another path. I also started sharing with my students how I was feeling, without throwing my drama at them. I wanted others to realise we all have times of struggle, but we can talk to others, find support in the community to deal with any hardship life may throw at us. I discovered my resilience is something I have built-in and gets tested over and over.
I can’t tell you how this story ended because it is still happening.
The only thought in my mind was and still is:
I’ll find my way.
Written by Paty
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE TO READ
DON’T SUFFER IN SILENCE
We believe in inspiring and empowering all women to move beyond destructive coping strategies and to learn how to love who they really are. There is a more meaningful future out there waiting for you, free from trauma, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, anxiety and depression, and we are here to show you the way. Reach out to our friendly advice team confidentially today to learn more about how our outpatient clinic and/or online program can be tailored to you.
WRITE FOR US
Have you got a story or learnings to share about your mental health? Then we’d love to hear from you. Whether you want to talk about your own recovery journey or how you have supported a loved one with their healing, you could give others hope who are experiencing something similar. We’re open to all ideas and you can absolutely remain anonymous if you prefer.