When things are difficult it is so easy to be unkind to ourselves and tough on ourselves. We have super high expectations and are not very forgiving towards ourselves. Part of healing comes when we begin to direct a more compassionate, nurturing and more loving response.
So much of our mental health rests on the stories we tell ourselves about who we are. You have a trail of thoughts going through your mind every single day. Some of them will be practical and some of them will just be thoughts and responses you are having to the world around you. Some of those responses and thoughts will be kind but some of them could be critical. If that narrative is that we are undeserving, we are unloveable, that everything that happens to us is our own fault and we’re to blame, then we’re not going to feel very good about ourselves. When we change that narrative, we start to recognise that the difficulties that we may have been through have been opportunities to learn and grow. We show ourselves compassion when we make mistakes and kindness when we get things wrong, then our mental health responds in a really positive way.
Developing a more compassionate relationship with yourself starts when you become mindful of what those thoughts are and begin to separate when they are kind and coming from a nice, nurturing place and when they are coming from a more critical and destructive place. Once we begin to recognise the difference between those thoughts we can make a decision as to whether we want to be governed by them or not. Thoughts are just thoughts and you’ll still have plenty every day that you don’t pay attention to so it’s about giving yourself space to nurture and build on that more compassionate voice because you can’t try to control that negative critical voice. What you can do is recognise it and focus your attention back on to a more nurturing way of speaking to yourself. That’s always the best place to start.
“I’m really stuck. I don’t know how to move forward” is something we hear a lot from our clients. What we suggest to people when they are feeling stuck is to take that energy, that intention and motivation and practise acts of kindness towards somebody else in need. Some of us certainly know through our own healing and our own journeys that the kindness that we’ve been able to show other people and the compassion that we’ve been able to direct towards others when they’ve been in need has aided our own healing and the same would apply for you. So if you’re stuck, if you’re in a dark place, try practising acts of kindness toward other people and we guarantee you, it will make you feel better.
DON’T SUFFER IN SILENCE
We believe in inspiring and empowering all women to move beyond destructive coping strategies and to learn how to love who they really are. There is a more meaningful future out there waiting for you, free from trauma, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, anxiety and depression, and we are here to show you the way. Reach out to our friendly advice team confidentially today to learn more about how our outpatient clinic and/or online program can be tailored to you.
WRITE FOR US
Have you got a story or learnings to share about your mental health? Then we’d love to hear from you. Whether you want to talk about your own recovery journey or how you have supported a loved one with their healing, you could give others hope who are experiencing something similar. We’re open to all ideas and you can absolutely remain anonymous if you prefer.